The Miracle of Loving Attention

Every single moment we spend with our children up to the age of three has a profound significance. During this time, we have the opportunity to ‘build’ our children’s brain connections in such a way that they are able to relate to others for the rest of their lives.

The science behind this claim is astonishing. When adults give loving attention to children aged three and under, they are building their child’s oxytocin receptors. These receptors shape how children relate with, trust, bond, and love the key adults in their lives plus all the other people they will come across throughout their life! All this is all triggered by loving attention.

What can parents do?  

Spend 15 minutes a day of full on, utter fascination and total concentration on what your child is doing. Lavish loving attention on them. That’s it! You’re done. Every time you do this, you are building oxytocin receptors in your child’s brain which build how they relate to you and anyone else they will ever meet in the future.

The building of empathy

Alongside a child’s vital oxytocin levels is the building of empathy.

E  Eager to connect

M  Mindful

P  Peaceful

A  Affirming

T  Thankful

H  Helpful

Y Yes to connection!

Be eager to play with your child at least once a day. Be mindful of your own needs, so that you can meet your child's. Be peaceful rather than perfect! Be affirming, "I love how you are being so kind to your sister." Be thankful about everything. "I'm so thankful we have this park to play in!" Be helpful, “How can I help you putting on your shoes? And finally, say yes to connection!

Loving attention tick list

Oxytocin receptors – TICK

Your child’s wellbeing – TICK

Your wellbeing - TICK

Future relationships in your child’s life – TICK

It’s a win-win situation!

This article was written by Helen Garnett for Parenta.

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